ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
