i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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