why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize