Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
