how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
