White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
