she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
