All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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