We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
