he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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