Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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