Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
