He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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