so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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