He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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