Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
