So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
