This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
