I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I AM VODKA MAN
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
