Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
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We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i believe in u and ur pee
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