Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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