Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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