I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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