i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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