the new term for farting is butt boxing.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
