Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
