piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
