....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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