Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends

(704): View more from North Carolina

Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.

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(602): View more from Arizona

hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.

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(513): View more from Ohio

5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun

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(702): View more from Nevada

I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.

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