i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You made out with two different species that night
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
