I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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