question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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