Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
