one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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