Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
