I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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