Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
