I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
