I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize