well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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