chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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