He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
