Come see our sink grown plant.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Drake has all the answers
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
