just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
