stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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