The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
