Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
