Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
