smell my finger.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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