Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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