Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
