u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
