He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
