I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
