Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
