This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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